I'm trying to sort out my first clear memory of heras Jnot as "little girl" brother's daughter"(why do I usually say "brother's daughter," not "niece"?)I noticed her as a woman:as mouth, eyes, breasts, the restin that ordertender, pursed, full lower lipbrown, shy, teasingsmall but perceptible"dirty blonde," lithe, T-shirt and jeans but no tomboy.The family resemblance --my (our) noseher mother's eyes, I think, or her mother's mother'sGod knows where she came by that mouthGod knows where she learned what to do with itI never put my cock in her pussyWe agreed on that, first silently and thenoutloudShe was a virgin then and stayed oneI had everything elseclinically her maidenhood remained intact:my penis unpenetratingher vaginaThe first time:Her skirt pushed upHer panties pulled down to her kneesOn her stomach on the bedNot the master bedroom bed, mineNot one of the slim awkward beds in the kids' room, hersBut the guest bedroom, neutralCovers still onQuilted bedcover, thin because it was. Shame fills her every fiber. The deaths, the conversions—all those men and women condemned to death or a life that will only end with an all too soon death—it’s all on her hands. “How can we live with what we have done?” She rubs her hands together as if trying to wipe off blood that can’t be rid of.“It is hard,” Kate offers. “But we can’t let ourselves give into our guilt. What the Scourge did to us is beyond our control. We are at war and sometimes we have to do what we have to in order to survive.”“But we didn’t do it for survival,” Audra argues. “We did it for the pleasure. That feeling between our legs, the orgasms, the ... the...”“Power?” Kate provides.“Yes...” the young woman hisses. “We did it for all of that.”Kate offers a shy smile. “Our only redemption is to not allow ourselves to fall under the Scourge’s influence again or others if we can help it.”“But we’re infected with the fungus,” Audra says. “There is no cure. There is no hope for any of us.”“There may be,” Kate.
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